I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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