I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
