He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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