it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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