Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
