weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
