Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
