their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
