Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
