Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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