You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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