Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's the barista slut.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
