im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
