I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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