part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
MIDGETS
????
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize