Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize