I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
