I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
