Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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