Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If that was your dad, he is hot
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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