I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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