the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
