1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
