Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
