she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
