I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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