We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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