Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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