I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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