My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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