SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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