sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize