If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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