so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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