Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
