She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My breasts were aching with rage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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