You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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