dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
