There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
