STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
