their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
