I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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