Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
