just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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