she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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