I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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