hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
