she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
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