In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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