but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
