What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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