Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
