I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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