yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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