he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
