I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
