Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
