It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
