Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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