Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
COCAINE IS GR8
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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