Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do herpes really smell.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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