I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
