Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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