Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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