Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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