she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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