Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
