Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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