You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
