I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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