all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
