we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
